A SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP'S LETTER I GOT

I owe you this

labyrinth

of tears ..

your tears

in a mélange of

a hope for

warmth that soothes

and anxiety

right after my first departure

and then again

your tears of sorrows, being hurt

by my uncontrolled emotions

despite of

your apologies

… and my tears of sorry

of regret

for having taken decision

that made you cry

that made and makes me cry ..

… that I couldn’t change

decision ..

to bury what was alive

what can give you spirit to fight

for life

for love

a fight for your future

because you feel having found

some one …

a friend

a teacher

and others

in one person as you said

in me

…or may be more?

then ..

you tried with your words

to pull me out from

the shadow of sadness

and to hold me back

from Leaving you behind

“ I miss you..”

labyrinth of decisions

a decision that made you

shed tears

and another …

that was supposed

to make you feel better

better?

just because ..

I embraced you?

like I never did before?

and kiss ..

affectionately

your eyes and tears

your forehead

your cheecks

your neck

your lips

like I never did before ?

and just because

for the first time

I loved you

in that early morning hour

like I never did before?

A morning of

severe storms

and thunders..

could it

or did I

make you

feel better?

Could a single attempt

kill all the pains

and restore damages

that intentionally

caused bye

my state of confusions?

labyrinth of hopes

your hope to make

me, your friend, us

feel better

a hope for sharing things

that could make an atmosphere

a little bit better

your hope to have a nice dinner ..

for five

for me?

my hope of sharing more things

with you

like many times before

.... ignored

those hopes

that finally

pushed me aside

punished me

abruptly...

For what?

What made me deserve them ..

…

now I’m here

in this room

relieved from burdens

but at the same time

haunted by

feeling of guilty

that bind me

hold me prisoned

closed by walls

of melancholy

of despair

not knowing

what was right

or wrong

like blind eyes

that try to find out

where a single light could come from

or

whether it would

ever

come again ..

I wish..

I were there now

on the rice field

not threatened by

hanging dark clouds..

but accompanied

by encouraging melody

of flute and zither

that could help me

to feel

a glimpse of

whatever

and to find energy

that lead me back

to the right path

that could enable me

to find an answer

so that I could

whisper it

into your ears

for ...

I owe you this.

I miss you too …

pour toi

au nom de l’amitie

mrcl

(Nov 2010)